An Embaressment of Beckett
by Thecastlefan101
Summary: She's trying to convince herself that it's not the man who's making her nervous but the animal with the man. She sees Castle everyday so why would she be nervous? It's the dog because she's never dog sat before and this is a great test run. It's not the man who making her smile like an idiot, it's not. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: If I owned it my name would be the first to appear in the credits. **

She's trying to convince herself that it's not the man who's making her nervous but the animal with the man. She sees Castle everyday so why would she be nervous? It's the dog because she's never dog sat before and this is a great test run. It's not the man who making her smile like an idiot, it's not.

He's late. It's been over an hour and she's getting impatient. Ugh! She just wants to see him- er...the dog.

She really is tired of waiting. She changed into clothing a bit more sensible. Her skinny jeans complementing her long legs and a grey shirt that hangs loose on her chest. She's still in her heels so that she's just about eye level with him.

She's ready he just needs to get here. There's a knock on the door and suddenly she gets butterflies. She hasn't felt this way since she dated that rocker back in high school.

She bits her lip and opens the door. She expects him to come in first bearing apologies but he isn't. He lets Royal come in first off of his leash then he walks in laughing like he's done nothing wrong.

"Castle, you were supposed to be here over an hour ago. It's called "shared custody" not "show up when you want custody."

She wants to be mad, she really does but the way he's smiling and the way he loves Royal is way too cute. She regrets turning down the offer to come over for dinner. She could only imagine how adorable he looked playing around with Royal.

"Yeah I thought I had everything together, but at the last minute I could not find Mr. Squeaky." He squeezed the toy to demonstrate why he named him that.

His voice is filled with so much excitement and joy that she can't help but smile. She's trying so hard to hide it but over the years she's come to realize that hiding her smile never worked around him.

"So don't worry about feeding him. I had a rib eye I couldn't finish." She listening but her eyes are on Mr. Squeaky. She finds it amazing that he bought such an expensive toy for a dog. It's crazy but somehow it's nice and it makes her like him just a little bit more.

"You fed him a steak?" She turned and looked at Royal.

"Yeah don't worry we worked it off. He played fetch in the hall," she quickly turned and faced him. "And then we watched some Beverly Hills Chihuahua. And boy, this guy, this guy is a smuggler."

She wasn't even trying to hide her smile now. He was getting so worked up about how much fun he was having with Royal and that sparkle in his eyes was shining extra bright that she just couldn't help but stare.

"And I bet you let him sit on your couch, didn't you?"

"Umm."

"No it's okay. You can be the fun one, and I'll just be the bad guy," she turned and faced Royal again. "Because there is no way way that you are shedding all over my couch."

"Oh no he's perfectly happy right there." She faces Castle again smiling brighter now because he's coming to the defense of a dog. It must be his parental skills. She can't help it he's absolutely _adorable_ right now. Yeah this time she's talking about Castle.

"Oh! And he loves it when you rub him right between the eyes, just little circles with your thumb," he explained pulling up her long sleeve to massage the back if her hand to demonstrate what he means. "Just like this, not too hard, just..."

When he takes her hand in his it immediately sends heat waves flying through her body, warming in all the right places. Or in this case all the _wrong_ places because they are not together nor is she ready to be with him yet.

But this one little gesture is sending her spiraling with want, with _need_. She steals a look up at him and he's staring at her like he's unsure of what to do.

He wants to try something but he isn't sure how she'll take it. But she also isn't stopping him and she's staring right back and he just wants to pull her closer, so much closer.

She needs to stop this. She needs to stop staring at him like this because she knows it's encouraging him to keep going. And that's the exact opposite of what she needs him to do. He needs to stop touching her because the heat is becoming overwhelming and it's getting harder to breath steadily.

His hand starts to climb higher up her hand until he finds her sleeve. He pulls it down while staring at her, watching for any sort of protest. But she can't form one because when he pulled on her sleeve she was forced to take two steps closer to him.

Being in such a close proximity is making her heart start racing and she can't help that her eyes flicker down to his lips.

She wants this but she can't have it yet. But he's right there all she would have to do is lean in and take it. But she can't.

When he pulls her in closer she stumbles and accidentally squeezes Mr. Squeaky startling them both. But what neither of them expected was for Royal to come and jump up onto Beckett and snatch away the toy.

His force was so strong it sent Beckett falling into Castle, who wasn't expecting her to fall into him, causing both of them tumbling to the floor.

She had landed on top of him with her face in the crook of his neck. When they both came to Castle wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her tighter against him. When she could let herself, she looked into his eyes to see that they had changed. It was no more cuteness but instead it was affection? Hope?

One of the two.

As bad as she wants to just take him right there she knows this can't happen so she forces herself up and out of his arms. Once she's up she reaches her hand out to him to help him up.

He's not playing around anymore. He wants her. He needs to see how it feels to kiss her. Without it having to be undercover, without them having to pretend it didn't happen. He's been trying so hard to wait, but he just needs this now. He needs to be reminded of what it felt like to press his lips against hers, what it felt like to hold her close.

He can't pretend anymore. He's waited far too long.

So when she helps pull him up he comes closer than he needs to.

"Castle," she says as a means of warn but her voice faltered so it came out as a breathy whisper.

Before he loses his cool or she backs away he slams his mouth against hers and holds her close. She can try and fight but he's not letting go. He's in love with this woman and he just needs this. He needs this reassurance. Just this once he wants to break the rules and he'll gladly suffer the consequences later if that means he can keep kissing her right now.

He was expecting a fight, a protest, a threatening tone telling him to let her go, but he was met with only silence but the sound of their lips smacking because she's kissing him back.

She couldn't hold back anymore. His lips landed on hers and all she was thinking at the moment vanished because she suddenly felt fireworks. They were going off all through her body giving her chills.

She shivered against him and he absentmindedly held her tighter.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and twisted her head to the side to gain better excess to his mouth.

She never wanted this to end. All they were doing was kissing and it was sending her over the edge. The place his hands were on her lower back was on fire, the sensation spreading it throughout her entire body. She's never been kissed like this before. She's never allowed anyone to kiss her like this before. And it feels good, to _finally, let go_. No more hiding, no more excuses.

She wants this and it's obvious he wants it too.

He breaks away from her and opens his eyes to assess her reaction. Her reaction was leaning back in to recapture his mouth.

"Kate," he managed to say through her constant exploration if his mouth.

"I know."

"Just...we need to talk about this."

She pulls away from his mouth and opens her eyes. "I know. Stay for dinner."

"Are you sure? We don't have to do this now."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I can come back tomorrow same time."

She just nodded. Some time to herself to assess what it is she really wants wouldn't be so bad. In fact it's exactly what she needs.

He gives her a smile and a reaffirming nod before letting her go and walking over to the front door. She follows him.

When he was about to go she stepped up to him and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Goodnight Castle."

"'Night."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Sorry I wanted you guys to know that I haven't abandoned you. My phones back on but I've AP tests coming up in school and I have to dedicate my time to study. (Which I'm supposed to be doing now) I won't be able to write again for at least two weeks. But whenever I have spare time I'll write i promise. **

**I suck I know and you guys deserve better. Once AP and finals are done I'm all yours. **

**So basically once summer vacation starts. Again I'm sorry but RL (sadly) comes first. **

* * *

She arrives at the precinct with Royal earlier than normal the next day. Mainly because she couldn't sleep after Castle left. Her mind was buzzing and her body was aching, calling out for him all night. Not to mention that Royal and his abandonment issues and was whimpering half the night. It wasn't until she allowed him to get up on her bed that he quieted.

Sleep never came to her, fatigue never came to her. She was still too wired on the possibilities of what could have happened, the "what it's."

What if Castle hadn't stopped her? What if she took him right then? What if she hadn't told him she needed time? What if they would have gotten together? What if he didn't want her physically? What if she had stopped him from rubbing her hand? What if she had told him how she felt about him?

So many

So many different things and its driving her nuts. She keeps dwelling on what's going to happen tonight at dinner. What will he say? What will _she say?_ She's the one who needed time to think.

With all these factors it makes sense for her not to be able to find sleep.

So she's sitting here, at her desk with Royal sitting beside her and six in the morning.

Hours fly by before Castle and the boys arrive. He brought her coffee-as always- but something's, different.

He's not looking at her differently or speaking weird, or making it awkward, or touching her or making any reverence to last night at all.

Wait.

That's it. He's acting normal. He's acting as if it never happened. She can't decide whether to be hurt or grateful. But she settles on grateful because the last thing she needs is to be pressured into a decision or to have the boys catch him doing something inappropriate.

So yes she's grateful.

The rest of the day goes better than she expected. They'd managed to find out who the killer was, Royal was very helpful during the take down.

But it was after Kay cuppucio left with Royal and Ryan and Esposito both left for the day that things got a bit...awkward? Maybe serious? Like she was suddenly pulse back into reality.

"So? Nine?"

She turns and stares at him for a moment. Then brings herself to stand directly in front of him, just a few inches from his face. She looks away checks her watch and shakes her head no.

"Seven." It's not a question. She knows he'll meet at whatever the time she wants him there.

"I'll be there." It's a promise.

She gets home later than anticipated because traffic was just not on her side today. It was like the street lights were allergic to the color green.

She didn't get home until six fifteen. She was hoping she had at least an hour to do something but she didn't.

She can this right? She can shower dress up nicely and cook a fancy dinner all before seven right?

Wrong

Absolutely wrong. She started the food and let it cook while she tried to take a five minute shower. Didn't work out so well.

She ended up staying and extra 15 minutes (does she not have a sense of time?) Her beautiful chicken, just burnt...to a crisp.

She wanted to cry. She really did. But she toughened up and went for plan B.

She took her left over steak and rice out of the fridge that she made for her and Lanie. She put the steak in the oven and went through the rice and picked out all the onions and peas, two things she _knows_ he hates.

She considered leaving the peas in, just to torture him a bit but decided against it. By the time she finished that it was 7:01 and she knew he would be here at any second. Worst of all she's still in her bath towel!

She has no time to put on a nice out fit never mind picking one out. So she settled on her skinny jeans and a simple white v-neck shirt. Just for kicks she even put on her black ugg boots.

But before she even had time to put the second shoe on she heard Castle knock on her door.

She assessed herself in the mirror before going to let him in. If she had an extra ten minutes then she put some make up on and dry her hair. But this will have to suffice and it's not like Castle would judge her anyway.

"Hey." She greeted when she finally opened the door.

"Hey."

"Come in Castle." He smiled awkwardly. Clearly he didn't know how to handle this situation. He's waiting for her to bring it up, to talk to him and she suddenly feels bad because he's always waiting _for_ her _on_ her. Not any more because she intends on giving him the answers he needs the answers he deserves.

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

"Sure."

He learned on the counter while she tended to the food. He stayed quiet not wanting to disturb her but he also just didn't know what to say, how to act.

He's never seen her like this before. Hair down while still soaking wet, no make up, and dressed down. And she's so calm and domestic that he's having a hard time believing that this is his Beckett. The hard, tough, savvy detective. She's cooked him dinner and she allowed him into her apartment to talk about their relationship. About taking it to the next, about being on the "together" level. His mind still hasn't fully expected it so forgive him if he's a little slow.

He was doing the same thing last night. He thought his brain was playing tricks on him whenever he would think back to last night. Kate Beckett was kissing him last night. Right? Yeah that's why he's here.

They eat standing by the counter in silence. Castle'a having a hard time keeping his eyes off of her. Her hair is still dropping wet and it's soaking through the back of her shirt.

If she noticed his staring, she didn't let on. The silence between them is becoming torturous not to mention how good she looks standing next to him. But now she's moving. She stands straight and puts her hair up into a wet messy bun and he can't help but watch her.

She's beautiful

How did he get so luckly? How is he the man that got to kiss her last night? How is he the one who she's considering being with? He doesn't deserve her and she's way too good for him. And yet here she is giving him the chance.

They finish dinner and they both travel to the sink to deposit their plates. But she still doesn't speak and it's driving him crazy.

"What do you want?" He whispered his eye brows melting in the middle.

"What?"

"What do you want!" He couldn't contain it, couldn't hold it in anymore. "Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you Kate."

"I-I," she wasn't expecting this. Castle's never really gone off on her like this before. Although he can't really blame him. She _has_ been keeping him on hold all night. There's no dog to make the first move.

"You what Kate? You. I want to be with you if I haven't made that clear. I just-" he calmed down and buried his face in his hands. "I need to know. Just tell me what you want."

"Castle I don't know. I know that I don't want you out of my life but-"

"But what? Last nighty you kissed me back." He walked up to her stopping just inches from her face. "So I know you felt it," he whispered. "I'm not gonna let you deny us any more."

"I'm not denying it Castle. I'm saying that I need more time."

"Time for what?"

"Just to figure everything out!" She took a step back but he followed her.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

"What?" She asked surprised by the question.

"Do you have feelings for me? Yes or no."

"Yes Castle but-"

"Do you want to be with me?"

Kate looked away. Why is he doing this? It's not this simple.

She closed her eyes and bit into her lip before whispering "yes."

"Then that's all there is to it. It's not that complicated."

"It's not that simple either Rick!"

"Yes it is! You want something you take it."

He demonstrated by grabbing either side of her face and kissing her. Just to prove that he's right and to make her remember what it felt like to kiss him, to want him. She can't deny it any more. No more excuses, he won't stand for it.

No more being patient and a kind gentleman. She has to make a choice. Now or never.

"Take what you want. Nothing else matters," he whispered. "If I am what you want then push everything that's holding you back away and take me."

Kate let two tears escape and slide down her cheeks. Castle caught them with his thumbs and wiped them away.

"Don't cry. Just take me. I'm right here, right now."

"I do take you Castle. I was going to I just need a little more time. I'm not there yet."

"If you want it, peace, then take it. I'll help you get there. Whenever it is you wanna be. I'll remind you everyday what it is you're fighting for and I'll help keep you strong, standing tall."

"You do that already."

"Then I'll keep doing it."

Kate buried her face into the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you," se whispered.

"No, thank you."


End file.
